For many older adults, “aging in place” has been held up as the gold standard of aging well. Surveys consistently show that most people want to remain in their homes for as long as possible, and it’s an understandable goal. Home represents independence, familiarity, cherished memories, and often a lifetime of investment. But I’ve increasingly found myself asking a simple question: If you eventually have to leave your home because your care or mobility needs change, did you “age in place”?
The more I think about it, the more I believe we’ve come to use the phrase in a way that doesn’t always match reality. In many cases, what we call “aging in place” really means staying home until circumstances force a move.
That’s an important distinction … not because staying at home is wrong, but because understanding the difference can lead to better long-term planning and, ultimately, better outcomes for older adults and their families.
My own confusion about ‘aging in place’
I’ll admit something that may surprise people: When I first began working with the senior living industry more than two decades ago, I assumed the phrase “aging in place” referred to a continuing care retirement community (CCRC), also known as a life plan community. After all, the concept seemed obvious to me: A person moves into a CCRC while they’re still active and independent. If their health changes over time, they can receive higher levels of care — whether that’s assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing care, or home health — without ever having to leave the community they’ve come to know.
To me, that intuitively felt like the very definition of “aging in place”: A person’s address may stay the same; their neighbors remain familiar; the routines, social connections, dining venues, and sense of community continue. In other words, the care changes, but the “place” doesn’t.
Instead, I quickly learned that the senior living and care industry generally uses “aging in place” to describe remaining in one’s private home. I think it’s worth asking whether it unintentionally creates an expectation that often isn’t achievable.
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The reality: Many people eventually need more care
The desire to remain at home is widespread. The annual AARP Home and Community Preferences Survey consistently finds that roughly three-quarters of adults age 50 and older want to remain in their current homes as they age. Wanting something, however, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s always possible.
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation (ASPE):
- About 70% of people who reach age 65 will eventually develop significant long-term services and supports (LTSS) needs before they die.
- Nearly half (48%) will receive some form of paid long-term care, whether that’s care delivered at home, in assisted living, or in a nursing home.
- Approximately one-third will spend at least 90 days in a nursing home.
A companion ASPE analysis estimates that roughly 39% of those age 65+ will receive nursing home care at some point.
These numbers don’t mean everyone who needs care will leave home permanently. For example, many people require care services following an illness or surgery. In some cases, they successfully recover after a rehabilitation center stint and then return home. But even this scenario reminds us of an important reality: For a substantial percentage of older adults, remaining in the same house for the rest of life simply isn’t how the story unfolds.
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Home isn’t always the simpler option
One of the biggest misconceptions surrounding aging in place is that staying home means avoiding difficult transitions. Sometimes that’s true. Often, though, staying home simply postpones such changes.
A common situation is families that find themselves scrambling after a loved one’s hospitalization. Adult children suddenly become unpaid caregivers while juggling careers and raising families. Home modifications become necessary. Coordinating home health agencies, private caregivers, transportation, meal preparation, medication management, and medical appointments can quickly become a full-time job.
In a scenario like this, many families reach a point where the home no longer supports the person’s needs, safely or practically. The move still happens; it just happens during a crisis instead of through thoughtful planning.
>> Related: Report Shows Family Caregiving Is Reaching a Breaking Point
Maybe we’ve been defining ‘place’ too narrowly
Perhaps the real question isn’t: “Can I stay in this house forever?” Instead, maybe it should be: “Where can I build a life that can adapt as I age?” There’s an important difference here.
For many people, aging successfully isn’t necessarily about preserving a physical address. It’s about preserving relationships, purpose, independence, and quality of life for as long as possible. Sometimes that’s best accomplished in a longtime family home. Sometimes it’s a condominium or senior apartment with fewer maintenance responsibilities. And other times it’s a CCRC/life plan community where healthcare services are already part of the continuum of care if they’re ever needed.
None of these choices is universally right or wrong, but they all deserve thoughtful consideration long before a crisis forces a decision.
>> Related: Pre-Crisis vs. Post-Crisis Planning: Confronting Life’s Unknowns
Planning isn’t giving up independence; it’s protecting it
Ironically, some of the people who enjoy the greatest independence in later life are those who planned for change before they needed it. Rather than waiting until an unexpected hospitalization, a fall, or a dementia diagnosis leaves few options, they chose a senior living arrangement designed to evolve with them.
That’s one reason so many residents of CCRCs describe their decision as one of the best they’ve ever made. They aren’t moving because they’ve lost independence. They’re moving while they’re still healthy enough to enjoy new friendships, activities, and opportunities, knowing they’ll have access to additional care if life takes an unexpected turn.
In many ways, that’s exactly what I thought “aging in place” meant when I first entered this profession!
>> Related: Transfer Trauma in Older Adults: The Emotional Impact of Unplanned Moves
Reframing the ‘aging in place’ conversation
None of this is meant to discourage anyone from remaining at home if that’s the right choice, and if proper planning has been done to allow for this. But perhaps we should be more careful with the language we use.
If someone stays home until a medical crisis necessitates a move to assisted living or skilled nursing care, that isn’t really aging in one place. It’s aging in one place … until circumstances require another.
So, maybe “aging in place” shouldn’t be defined by a street address. Perhaps it should instead be defined by whether your living environment is capable of evolving to support you through every stage of aging without forcing disruptive transitions.
If that’s our definition, then aging in place becomes less about where you live today and more about whether the place you’ve chosen can continue meeting your needs tomorrow. And that may be the most important retirement planning question any family can ask.
