When you were much younger your parents nervously sat down with you and had “the talk.” Now it is time for you to have “the talk” with your parents. Of course, I’m referring to a different kind of talk but for many it is no less awkward to initiate.

Planning ahead for the later stages of retirement can help families avoid difficult, and often costly, situations in the future. One of the more important – and complex — decisions you and your parents need to consider is where they will live.  Primarily, do they wish to remain in their home as long as possible or perhaps move to some type of retirement community? What are the implications of the various choices and which is best for their unique situation?

At LifeSite Logics we believe it is never too early to begin a dialogue with your parents, yet most families avoid doing so until it is much too late. Here are some ideas and suggestions to help you break the silence:

  • Studies reveal that a large majority of households age 65+ are concerned about becoming a burden to their adult children. Therefore your parents may be more willing than you realize to discuss this topic with you.
  • Since your parents are still independent the discussion does not have to be difficult and emotional. Consider starting with something like this: “Mom and Dad, this house has been good to our family a long time hasn’t it? Do you think you want to live here the rest of your lives?”
  • Avoid using terms like “retirement home,” “nursing home,” “assisted living,” and “long-term care.” These terms typically carry negative connotations even though many retirement communities today offer dynamic, active, and fulfilling lifestyles.
  • If you read an article or hear a story about someone who is having a difficult time taking care of a loved one you can use the story to open up a conversation with your own parents. Consider using a question such as, “Mom, what would we do if something like that ever happened in our family?”
  • If you learn that your parents have long-term care insurance and/or VA benefits you might ask them more about the purpose of those plans and how they work. This could be a good catalyst for a broader conversation about their expectations for future retirement living and care.
  • If you have a financial advisor that is well-versed in the retirement living landscape and long-term care- which she should be– you can mention to your parents that your advisor caused you to think about some important things that you had not considered before…if, of course, that is the truth.

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